think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize