Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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