By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
