you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
