Three words: puerto rican gang bang
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
