i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
