I can tuck mytits in my pants
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
