WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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