You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
