I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
