omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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