I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
