it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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