Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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