OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He passed out mid-signature
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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