Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
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