It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
