I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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