I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm like, not good at living.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Randomize
