There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
