My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
