do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
