Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
