It's Friday. Sex?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
