Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
