Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
