Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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