between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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