My friends, they love my intelligence
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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