he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Randomize
