my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
