Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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