I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
