Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize