new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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