we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
