sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
nutella sex= disaster
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
