i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
