Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
How naked do you want me to be?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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