just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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