i will never coherently bang her
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
