If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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