You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
