He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
