so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize