I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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