R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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