Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
