Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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