wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize