She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
