If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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