I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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