Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize