i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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