11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
