I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
