i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
