i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
