therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
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