I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
