I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
