What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
