genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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