So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
