There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
