The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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