I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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