I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize