i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
