Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
