that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
