can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
