my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize